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Monthly Archives: August 2018

Men Adore In Women

Responsible: A responsible woman is one who sees opportunities of service and responds to them quickly. Within her lies the ability to turn stumbling blocks to stepping stones. She is a great asset to her man because responsibility is a vital ingredient to a successful life. She is reliable and can be trusted with information, assignments etc. A responsible woman is efficient and effective; she sees a need as an opportunity to serve and sets out to meet that need! Her man is not perplexed with the load of family responsibilities for he has a help-mate. She is a good definition of two good heads are better than one.

Goal Oriented and Principled: This is a woman that is focused, has her eyes fixed on a destination and nothing deters her from reaching the goal. This woman knows her mind is the major capital she needs to venture in any endeavour so she works on her mind – feeds her mind with the right materials and heads for the top. She is not gullible or easily taken in rather she is ethical, coordinated and well-acquainted with things that has to do with her dreams and goals. She doesn’t run around aimlessly, she always aims well and hits her target timely. She works gently but steadily and so arrives always at the stipulated time.

Accommodating and Considerate: Here is a friendly, considerate, co-operative and generous woman. She is not selfish, even in “bedmatics“, she thinks of her partner’s feeling and satisfaction first. She is attentive to his needs, amiable, benevolent and pleasant to be with. She doesn’t create excuses for failing in her duties rather she is always handy and quick to apologize and make amends where she missed it. She is not ruffled by her man’s impromptu decisions or actions because within her she has made room to accommodate them before they occur.

Romantic and Sensual: Her dressing is clean, modest and beautiful. She understands men are moved by what they see but this doesn’t drive her to nudity or immodest dressing. She is a complete woman! She satisfies the sensual and emotional needs of her man. She knows which keys to play for her man in the bedroom to get him reeling with laughter, joy, excitement and satisfaction. She is all round beautiful and trustworthy. She is honest, submissive and has good sense of humour; she knows her man is not looking for a mother, an aunty or elder sister rather a soul mate, helpmate and a friend. She incorporates all these roles but exhibits that of friendship and soul mate to her man. In her, he finds the services and input of a mother, sister and an aunty; yet she is his wife, friend, lover and confidante.

All about Heart of Compassion

Learn about a part of the world you previously had no idea about. Find a part in their existence where they are less fortunate than you. Pray God fuse that in your mind and watch how the Spirit works.

Where another has an issue with you, go to them, and make peace.

Reverse your understanding. Stand in the other person’s shoes. Go deliberately against your feelings. Stay there for a time. Watch your heart soften.

Using your will, forgive someone you have loathed for some time. Forgive an act using your simple ability to decide.

Imagine some of the ways you’ve hurt God, and quietly recount these before him in prayer. Feel your heart heal in the process.

Notice the person you’ve favoured. Notice the person you’ve dissed. Notice how partiality has coloured your perspective away from compassion.

Go to a museum or take a history course or watch a history documentary on YouTube. Enjoy feeling smaller than you normally feel. Enjoy with gratitude the simple nature of being alive on the cusp of time.

Give someone your fullest attention, and keep doing so.

Make a study of God’s grace. Learn something new about what you may already know well.

About Love Is Painful

Love is a feeling, and your childhood shapes the way how you experience it. If you connect love with positive feelings like joy, you are unlikely to read this post. But what if you connect it with pain or struggle?
It’s something you should look at and heal with self-compassion. You can’t change the past, but you can create a better future. Take care of this little child within you that has lived through so much pain in love. Her childhood wasn’t easy. She has experienced suffering. Her parents may never have been able to give her the love she needed.

And you are a beautiful woman now, and you can give her the love she deserves. She won’t receive this from anybody else. Only you can give it to her. This way she can stop to look for love in painful places. The more you nurture the relationship with your inner child with compassion, the more you will free yourself from the influences of the past. Why should you change this? I know that you were an innocent child. You didn’t deserve to experience love as pain. But you can’t change the past. You can only create a better future. Healing isn’t obligatory. It’s a choice. I walked many years on the painful path until I decided to change. Going a new path is uncomfortable and sometimes frightening. As human beings, we love our comfort zone. We may sometimes even prefer the pain we know instead of trying something new. But before you decide what to do, just consider for a moment:

Some Tricks to Move On

Everybody has a good side. “True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” – Oprah Winfrey. Focus on the positive qualities of the person who has offended you. See how in the past they may have added value to you. Stay in the energy of gratitude for what they have done for you and you’ll eventually start to cherish them for real once again.

Feel free to define your boundaries. On the other hand, you may decide to limit contact if the relationship is dragging you down. You can still have affection and respect for someone but you may need to keep them at a distance at least temporarily.

Accept your contribution. In all likelihood, you probably played some part in the conflict. Acknowledge your actions and figure out how to make positive changes.

Look at it from their point of view. When someone fails to apologize, it usually has more to do with them than with you. They may feel ashamed or vulnerable. When you think about their pain, you may feel like you have more in common.

Resist all-or-nothing thinking. Distinguish between the human being and their actions. An action may be wrong but that doesn’t make the whole human being wrong. If someone criticizes you unfairly, list the things you still like about him / her.

Release the negative energy. Venting your feelings in a diary or an imaginary letter helps to sort things out. You can express yourself freely without worrying about widening the divide. Write the letter and burn it to release the energy from your body onto the paper and eventually into the ether. Works like magic every single time!

Reach out. If someone close to you has trouble apologizing, you may need to make an extra effort. Let them see how you apologize and take responsibility for your actions so they can discover more options.

One of the things that has personally helped me a lot in situations like this is to always remind myself that the advantages of forgiveness are the same whether the other person apologizes or not. Think of pardoning others as something you do for yourself rather than for them.

1. Drop the resentment – “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” – Nelson Mandela. Grudges are like a heavy weight on our being. When you release your anger and disappointment, you’ll free up energy that you can devote to the things you love.

2. Be Generous – Each of us makes mistakes don’t we? But unfortunately, we often judge others on their actions and judge ourselves on our intentions. When you give someone a second chance, remember that you’ll probably need one yourself someday.

3. Value your relationships. Family and friends are precious. Develop connections that can withstand conflicts. Resolving your disagreements can even draw you closer together when you cooperate on finding solutions.

4. Take control of your feelings. You’re in charge of your own happiness. Focus on something that gives you happiness and joy instead of checking your phone to see if your partner/spouse apologized yet. “Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

5. Let It Go. “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” – Martin Luther King Jr. Most of all, a loving and forgiving heart is good for your own mental and physical health.

About Believing in Others

Recently, and maybe this is due to years of living, I find that it is critical to believe in others and to let them know it loudly, clearly, and frequently. Although I realize that I am nervous about some of my decisions and wonder about what others might think or how they might react to my choices, I never really stopped to consider that I might depend on this feedback from others whom I respect to keep me motivated and plunging forward. I do not refer to sideline cheers and backslaps of encouragement, but rather that all-out faith that others exude and share as I move forward with life. I also do not mean accolades and public endorsement as I do not need these to keep myself focused and determined. Instead I am talking about people who note the little things – a poster I designed and the details contained on it, the plan I have laid out that includes minute guidance and direction, an idea that I have fielded with a request for input and participation. It is the trust and conviction that others place in me that allows me to forge onward with trust and conviction within myself.

With this acknowledgement of self-need, I am now working diligently to bring out confidence in others. I am amazed at how many successful men and women are also quivering and hesitant inside. For the purpose of brevity I will concentrate on my women friends as it is they who most often enlist my support or request my opinion. When you have raised a family, girls, you have participated in a unique challenge of love, loyalty, and discipline. All of these characters transfer to achievement in other areas. When you have maintained a career that you love and that inspires you, you have participated in a unique challenge of love, loyalty, and self-discipline. When you have raised children and worked outside of the home as well, you definitely possess powerful and valuable skills.

When you exercise you improve bodily functions. When you teach and share knowledge you expand your own potential. When you break down barriers and reconstruct paradigms, you increase your abilities. These are just a few ways that women change the world, themselves, and the lives they touch each day.

Restorative Relationship Moments

Confrontation – none of us enjoy being confronted, and not many of us enjoy confronting, but good confrontations – where both parties feel empowered because they’re safe – is so important for relationship happiness. Confrontations implicit of love show that caring is an extension of the truth, because love ensures that the confrontation is productive. Love does not give up nor give in.

Listening – no list on good relationship moments would be complete without the word listening. We see it practiced so rarely, and we may hardly experience it. But, if we can be the ones who can start by listening well enough to understand, our relationships will be all better for it. Listening properly requires great faith to leave aside our needs to serve another person’s first.

Apology – I’m a big fan of Dr Gary Chapman’s five Languages of Apology, for we all speak ‘sorry’ differently. Every great relationship requires every person to apologise. Apology precipitates forgiveness.

Forgiveness – such a complex subject comprising a plethora of relationship moments. Forgiveness is God’s grace, redoubled in human form.

Restoration – transactions of forgiveness are fundamental to restoration.

Triumph – such a moment is only known beyond the pain of a difficulty reconciled, where both parties add the significant effort of humility to overcome their differences. There can be no triumph moment where one person exudes all the humility, and the other encamps in pride.